21.

truthfully, i am just a normal 21 y/o guys. looks just average, always talk craps, love to joke around, not easy to get along on the first impression, not good in organizing my financial, and seems a bit immature. maybe not a bit. maybe i am immature.

i always act and looks immature. but i know, i can think, maturely when i am needed to. that is what i think about myself.

i also find myself a bit complex. and i am hardly understand myself. so i never expect others to understand me. but i am sure that i am not complicated. both those, are two different things.

last weekend, i had a talk with my sis. the oldest one. i rarely talks and open up with her before. maybe because of the age gap, i am not easily close to her. compare with my other sister, which i am quite close.

i love having an adult's talk. because adults can give a lot of good advices. i am young. for now, ignorance is my middle name. i need a lot of guide, so i can live through this world.

but for 21 y/o guy, i also believe, that i have been experiencing a lot of things, i have seen a lot of things, and i heard a lot of things. sometimes, i can't believe that i am living this life. i see a lot of ups and downs. i see a lot of people change. i see myself change. i see babies grow up into child. i see child grow up into boys. i see beauty outside but dark and rotten inside. i see people get deserved. i see pains. i see wealthiness. i see happiness. i see smiles and grin. i see cheats and lies. i see justice and injustice. i see grateful and ungrateful. but i am still 21. i still going to see a lot of things after this.

i'll pass through all those phases. and i want to keep myself strong.

God, help me. help us. I am, we are just Your ignorance creature. Please guide us. Amin.